I'ma Cookin'

Go ahead and get it over with ... faint, make snide comments, twitter it .... Sherri's cooking! Not only is she cooking, she's making it up as she goes, and is making a masterpiece to rival the likes of Paula Deen and Emeril. Ok, maybe we shouldn't go that far but it is a momentious occasion because Sherri is in the kitchen, creating a yummy, delicious dinner that she is guaranteeing will be loved by all.

Sorry, about typing in the third person. It's sorta annoying isn't it? I'll stop now.

It's Saturday and for the most part has been a very laid back day. Hubby is recuperating from a rough work week, Son is recuperating from a week of camp, and me, I'm just recuperating because everyone else is. As I was sitting around doing a whole of nothing I started thinking about my cooking disaster from earlier in the week.  I decided it was time to redeem myself and come up with a meal worthy of .... Blogdom. I'm sure you saw that coming, right? I mean if I'm going to put my failures out there for everyone to see, it would only make sense that I would follow up with a success.

So, I put my little thinking chef hat on and came up with a plan. I wish I really had one of these, 'cause I would totally put it on and have my photo taken just so you could see how official I am.  I guess we'll just have to use our imaginations on this one.

Now to the plan - tonight we're going Italian. I have to preface this by saying, believe it or not, I actually make a pretty mean lasagna. If you don't believe me just ask my mama and she'll back me up. However tonight my plan is to bake a lasagna like no other.  Before I go any further I must warn you that this blog is going to be heavy in photos and details - if you're not into that  STOP reading now, say adios and we'll see ya later. Otherwise read on

I started with the sauce - tomato sauce, garlic, onion, and Italian seasons.  Looks good doesn't it?  While the sauce simmered I put on a pot to boil for cooking the lasagna noodles. Question about pasta. Do you call it just by the type of noodle or do you follow it by the word "noodle" For instance is it spaghetti or spaghetti noodle? fettuccine or fettuccine noodle? lasagna or lasagna noodle? The reason I ask is because on the box it reads lasagna  but if you google lasagna you get these images . You have to google lasagna noodle to get this image  which is what I'm talking about here. Pot - Boil - Noodles. Get it?

See what I mean about photos and details? It's not too late to bail, run while you can!

No? Still here. Ok, read on.

While the lasagna noodles were cooking I was busy putting together the innards. Hmmm, lasagna innards. Doesn't sound too appetizing does it? Believe me, though - it will be!

First the cheese. I mix mozarella, cottage cheese (yes, I said cottage cheese, I don't do ricotta - yuck!), parmesan, and two eggs for binding. This is what you get  Now, I realize that this mixture doesn't really look all that appealin. If fact, it looks pretty barfy. However keep in mind this is a filling, that once cooked, it's a bubbly, gooey, cheesy goodness.

Next I chop zucchini  and mushrooms I also brown and crumble Italian sausage.

The noodles are ready, time to put it all together. But first, let me tell you that I've discovered a new way of making lasagna.

Instead of making a big ol' pan of it  I make individual lasagna rolls! A pan is a good choice when you're feeding a crowd and need a lot. However, when it comes to serving it out of the pan I've always had a problem getting the slices to come out cleanly. They usually come out looking like a lump of lasagna instead of a slice.  One day while searching for recipes I discovered the concept of lasagna rolls, individual servings. They're really no more trouble to assemble and definitely serve up cleaner.

What follows are the steps for assembling lasagna rolls.

First you lay individual noodles in the pan. 

Next spread the cheese mixture covering about 1/4 of the end of each noodle. 

Top it with a little sauce 

Roll it up, covering the layer of cheese/sauce  note the little noodle tail on noodle #3 - very annoying, but does not effect the overall success of the dish.

Another layer of cheese 

followed by sauce and  crumbled sausage. 

Roll your noodles one more time  oh wow, look! Three more noodle rolls have appeared. I'm a magic cook!

This layer - no cheese - pour on the sauce 

 add a couple of mushroom slices 
(excuse the blurry photo, it's hard taking pictures and cooking at the same time),

add a slice of zucchini 

sprinkle liberally with this 

and there you have it  ready for the oven. Bake it in the oven at 350* for about 35-40 minutes.

While waiting for your lasagna to cook you might want to put together a few side dishes. No Italian meal is compete without a salad and garlic bread. I'd like to tell you that I went outside to my garden and harvested lettuce, carrots, and all that other stuff that makes up a good salad but that would be a lie. What I actually did was open a bag fresh from Kroger. .

For my bread, I've learned there's nothing wrong with what comes out of a box ... if you fix it right.  The key is to not bake it in the oven. Instead, cook it in a grill pan on the stove top .

It comes out looking mighty good, don't you think?

Ding! It's ready. Mmmmm, sure does look good, And it REALLY smells good too! I just wish I could activate this thing so you could smell it too. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it.

Meanwhile, let me show you the finished results. .

Mmmmm, these guys seem to really think it's pretty good too.  They're enjoying their meal, not so much having their picture taken while chowing down. Sometimes they just go along with my craziness, knowing it's in their best interests to not rock the boat. They're just thankful for a home-cooked meal that is not only edible but delicious to boot!

And finally, to wrap it up ....








 This girl supervised the whole thing. The preparation, the baking, and the eating. Unfortunately for her, this was not a cat-friendly meal. She was not happy to discover there would be no handouts.

Sorry Spunk, maybe tomorrow night.

And the point is ....

 It's my body and I'll wear what I want to. Come on, sing along!

I have a friend who posted this on facebook yesterday:

My 14-year-old daughter helped me clean out my closet and made me get rid of my star track shirt, my old lady tops, and all of my capris. Tim Gunn would be proud.

I have to admit it immediately got under my skin. I don't have a problem with her cleaning out her closet. In fact I admire her for having the initiative to tackle such a job. I also think it's pretty cool that she had the help of her teenage daughter. We all know how often girls drift away from their mothers when they reach the teen years, those years where your teen thinks you're "stupid" and finds it totally embarrassing to be seen out in public with you. So, when I hear a mom and her teen are spending time together I get all excited - for them and all humankind!

What got under my skin was the list of items that needed to be tossed followed by the statement that some dude would be proud of her. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for tossing out clothes that no longer fit, and those that have become threadbare from wear, and even the ones that just don't do "it" for me anymore. But to toss out a complete style of clothes just because someone else says to get rid of them? I don't think so!

I wasn't sure who this Tim guy was and apparently some others were confused too. Someone asked and Denise answered with the following:

When Gunn was a guest on the "Oprah" show, he laid down the law to the over-40 crowd. If you're over 40, you should never wear:Horizontal stripes, Jackets that hit at mid-thigh, Pleated pants, Double-breasted blazers, Capri-length pants, and Low-rise jeans

I'll address his "list" a bit later but first wanted to say that I decided to do a little web-sleuthing to see what else I could dig up. Here's a photo of Tim  and Tim, for the record I think your  tie sticking out from under your jacket looks stupid, maybe I should make a statement to such....oops, I just did.

I found this on Wikipedia and this on Oprah's website. At this point, I am compelled to go public and admit that I absolutely cannot stand Oprah Winfrey (oops, hope I haven't just offended half of my followers). But you have to know this in order to understand my next statement. I am in the camp that "if Oprah is for it then there's a 99.9% chance that I am not!" Therefore Tim, you're guilty by association, and strike one for Tim.

Strike two comes from reading his bio and other articles. It is apparent that he is very open in his criticism concerning women and how they dress. It really rankles me that any one person thinks they have the right to judge another person's appearance and to especially to do so publicly. My question to him would be "who died and left you in charge?"

Strike three comes because of his gender. In my eyes if you're a man you have no right to state what is and isn't appropriate for a woman to wear. How would you know? Are you going to wear it? So, even if you're a gay man, you're still a man and shouldn't have a say in what I can wear! Got it?

Ok, with all that said I'll climb off the "I hate Tim Gunn" soapbox and climb onto the "I hate his list" soapbox. I'll go out on a limb say that I assume he is basing his list on what he doesn't find visually appealing. I do believe, however, he's painting in a very broad brush stroke by stating that women over 40 should not wear certain clothes. Why is the age cut off 40? Is that some magic number? Why not pick 35 or 60? How many of you know women that look much younger or much older than their actual age? Should a 45-year-old woman, who could easily pass for 35, throw out all her capri-length pants and double breasted jackets just because she's over that magic number?

Are we supposed to go out the day after we hit 40, toss all our clothes, and start over with a new wardrobe? While I'd love a bunch of new clothes I find it neither practical nor realistic to think that's going to happen. Can you imagine telling your spouse "honey, I can't go to work anymore because all my clothes are on 'the list'" Therapist's incomes will definitely soar as they counsel thousands of women suffering from poor self esteem because "Tim" says I'm dressed wrong. Oh puhleeze!

I've decided that since Mr Gunn has had his say, that it's only fair that I be allowed to weigh in on his list.

1. horizontal stripes - personally I don't know anyone who really looks good wearing horizontal stripes. Maybe we should ask all fabric manufactures to just stop producing fabric with stripes and totally eliminate that problem. Of course then there's be those people who'd complain that it's not fair to have vertical stripes and not horizontal, so why don't we just do away with all stripes and be done with it. Besides doesn't this  sorta remind you of this? 
2. jackets that hit mid-thigh - we all know that your jacket needs to be that long in order to hide your big booty. Is this an attempt to make all those lovers of big butts happy? 
3. pleated pants - don't look so great on women with big bellies, so  I guess this was stated under the assumption that any woman over 40 is overweight. While I can't feign innocence here I know plenty of women who are over 40 and have a trim waist. But too bad, so sad, you're over 40 so out with those pleats.
4. double-breasted blazers - if you're going to be the one who decides who can and who cannot wear something ... well you got it wrong here. It has nothing to with your age and everything to do with your bust size. I think double-breasted looks better on men because they have no breast ... unless they're fat and have man-boobs, In that case they need to stay away from the double breasted jacket also.  
5. low-rise jeans - wearing low-rise jeans produces two problems for women. One, if you're not toothpick thin your muffin top will show. And two, if you get the right size that won't create a muffin top, after a couple of hours of wear your pants start to droop and you're constantly having to hitch them up. For the record, regardless of your age, muffin tops aren't attractive. 
6. and now for the big finale, the item that got all Denise's friends in an uproar - Capri pants! There's just some things you don't mess with and obviously capris are one of them. I found this blog  post that stated it rather well: 

 Capri-length pants : This is the one that really gets me. I thought about naming this post: "kiss my capri wearing ass." Sure capris are not the best for short legs. But capris are a fashion staple -- there's no getting away from them either at the gym or in the summer (especially at the beach). Even with short legs capri-length works especially if you are wearing the same color on the top. So shoot me.

Capri pants make up 95% of my warm weather wardrobe. In my opinion they look a whole lot nicer than me running around in shorts that show lily-white legs; they're cooler than long pants, and more practical than a skirt or dress (have you ever ridden a bicycle, climbed a ladder, or worked in the yard wearing a dress?).

To wrap it up, I'm  here to say I dress according to what works for me. If you have a problem with it, that's on you not me. So go ahead and laugh all you want. Just keep your comments to yourself and for heaven's sake don't take my photograph and post it on facebook. If you do I'm coming after you. You've been warned!

IT'S SO HOT OUTSIDE!!

Yes, I know I'm yelling. I can't help myself because I'm HOT and I'm CRANKY. I know what you're thinking. Yes, it was only a few weeks ago that I was complaining because the weather was too cold. I told you then it wouldn't be too long before I'd be complaining of the heat. Well .... here we are. Week two of ninety degree heat and I'm over summer. Ready for it to be gone.

Since there's nothing I can do about the weather, let's talk about what I can do to cool off.

First option:   What I would give to be here (or is it "wouldn't give"? I can never keep that straight. That and "I could (couldn't) care less". These phrases confuse me every time).

I want to be on the beach, looking out on the ocean with a sea breeze wafting through my hair, waves lapping at my feet, and smelling the fresh sea air. I'd be willing to give you my second born son (that's him checking out the beach by the way). But you can only have him for a week or two and then you have to give him back because I'm sorta attached to the boy.

Unfortunately it costs money to go to the beach - have I mentioned lately that we have no money?  We're poor broke slobs. Don't you feel sorry for me? No? Fine, be that way.  I could (couldn't ?) care less ... which is probably what you're thinking right now.

Ok, so a trip to the beach is out. How about one of these to keep me cool.  Doesn't it look sooooo inviting? Too bad I don't have one, nor do I know anyone who has one. If I did - I'd be inviting myself over on a regular basis. Off course knowing this, maybe some of my friends do have a pool and are keeping it a secret to keep my pesky self away!

There's always one of the local public pools  which looks cool but not so inviting with all those annoying kids hanging around. Oh my, don't I sound like the cranky old woman that all the children hate love? We had one of them in my childhood neighborhood. She lived in the big house up on the hill and was always yelling at us, threatening to call the police, which of course only made us want to do those things she hated even more. I wonder if Old Lady Thompson would like hanging out with me at the Rhodes Jordan pool? She could yell and I could threaten. Wouldn't we just be the life of the party!

On to our next option - how about a pool of my own? Back when the boys were itty-bitty we had this  which today might work .... to cool off my big toe, other than that I don't think I'd fit in it. Meanwhile aren't the boys cute? Andrew is going to be so pleased that I posted a photo of him in his training pants for all of blogdom to see.

Sorry bub.
       love ya,
             mom.

Later on we replaced the blow-up pool with an above ground one. It too is long gone. It took too much work and too much money to maintain it. The only photographs of it that I could find are on this horrid scrapbook page that I showed you a couple of days ago.  I'm really embarrassed to make this page public. Just keep in mind it was made during my first days of scrapbook. I got better at it, I promise!

The pool is actually stashed away in the shed (because you know us, we never throw anything away) and I've actually thought about dragging it out.  But, I'm thinking it might look a little strange for two adults to be splashing around in ... not to mention it would still be too much work and money.  

Besides, if I had that kind of money you know where we'd be ....


So, here I sit, still hot and still broke. I guess I just need to break out the next best thing to cool me off.


Does this not look totally refreshing? A strawberry limeade from Sonic is what I'm talking about. Do I hear an "amen" out there?


 And it's cheap, only $1.01 for a large drink during HAPPY HOUR. And believe me, when I'm sipping on one of these I'm happy!(and it doesn't even contain alcohol so it's perfectly safe for me and Eddie)

So, how about you?  Beach, pool, or strawberry limeade - what are you planning to use this summer to cool off? And if your answer is (b) pool, give me a call and I'll be right over.

No, we don't eat out all the time!

I know if you're a regular reader of my blog it may appear that we eat out all the time. While I'll admit we eat out way too much frequently, we do eat at home. Here's proof.


Dale fired up the grill for the first time this season. Nothing exciting, just dogs on the grill. For the record I'm not a huge fan of hotdogs but there's something about a grilled hotdog that just hits the spot on a summer evening.

 I couldn't let make Dale do all the work so I prepared all the side dishes. Not wanting to heat up the kitchen, I baked beans in the toaster oven. Nothing special unless you like Bushes Homestyle Baked Beans.
 For a canned bean, these are really good! I made coleslaw using a prepackaged bag of shredded cabbage from the grocery store with Marie's special sauce.

Let me post a disclaimer here, I don't get a kickback from these advertisements, just showing you easy it was to throw this meal together.

I capped off our meal with fresh fruit. Strawberries and blueberries. Yum!
 So, there ya go, proof that we do eat at home, it didn't cost a fortune, and it was totally a mmm mmm good meal!

Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

Quick what's that line from? Do you remember it or are you too young? I'm really going out on limb here by owning up to it coming from one of my favorite shows growing up,
 Lost In Space.



For all you youngsters, this show aired for three years from 1965 to 1968. It tells the story of the Robinson family, (mom, pop, and three kids), plus a space ship pilot who venture out into space in the year 1997 (yes, you read that right 1997, sounds sorta ridiculous now, doesn't it?) in an attempt to colonize another planet. Their mission is sabotaged by a villainous secret agent, Dr Zachary Smith, who is a medical doctor and some environmental control guru. His plan is to sneak on board the space craft before liftoff and reprogram the Robinson's robot to destroy the ship and the passengers in it. Unfortunately for him his plan goes awry and he  is accidentally trapped on board. The Robinson's are able to save their ship but it sustains heavy damage and the crew finds themselves hurling away from Earth, "Lost in Space."

What happens from there are three seasons of the space gang trying to find their way back all while dealing with the antics of the treacherous Dr Smith and the perils found in outer space. Pivotal to each show is the "Robot" who displays extraordinary knowledge, strength, and is equipped with futuristic weaponry. Robot is not just a machine though. He shows emotions such as amusement and sadness, and displays talents for playing the guitar and singing. He soon becomes an integral part of the family and his friendship with the young Will  Robinson  makes him appear almost human. The line "danger Will Robinson, danger" is quoted at least once in each show as Robot warns Will of some impending danger.

I guess this show was the beginning of my love for Sci-fi. And while today it would never make it as a science fiction show, back in the day it was a hit that actually beat out the "other" sci-fi show of the decade "Star Trek"

Lost In Space was a mild ratings success, unlike Star Trek, which received very poor ratings during its original network TV run. The more "cerebral" Star Trek never averaged higher than 52nd in the ratings during its three seasons,^[8][9] while Lost in Space finished season one with a rating of 32nd, season two in 35th place, and the third and final season in 33rd place.

Lost in Space was a weekly staple of TV watching at our house, enjoyed by all but my mother. She hated that show! Ask her about it today and she'll let you know just how annoying it was to her. But for me, thinking about it brings back warm, fuzzy memories of watching TV with my Dad. I'd love to be able to watch it again. Unfortunately I don't think it's available  on any cable stations but I know for a fact that Netflix has it. So, if summer TV gets too boring I'm totally going to join back up and rent the DVD. Maybe I should do it the weekend Mom comes to stay and see if she still hates "that silly Dr Smith and the annoying Robot"!

Speaking of "danger, Will Robinson" I need to tell you about something that happened today which actually was the catalyst for this trip down memory lane.

Several weeks ago, back when we were having all the bad weather, I bought (yes, I actually paid for an app and shhhh, don't tell my husband) an app for my phone called Weather Alert USA  . With all the severe storms we were having  I figured it couldn't hurt to have extra warnings. It's been quite an adventure having this thing on my phone, starting with the first time it went off.   While I know it's important to hear the alert go off, there's no reason that it has to send me into cardiac arrest each time. So, I learned pretty quickly that I needed to have the sound turned down fairly low whenever there was the threat of bad weather... loud enough to hear the tone but low enough to maintain my composure.

We've been free from the severe weather conditions for the last week or so but never fear, I'm still getting my money's worth out of this app. Temperatures here are soaring into the 90s every day and we are finding ourselves under the threat of  bad air ... yes, you heard that right ... bad air.

I am now getting "Air Quality Alerts."  I know there are some people who need to take some precautions when the air quality gets bad but really, is it necessary to send out a daily alert? I mean think about it people - it's Atlanta, it's 90+degree outside, there are 9 million automobiles sitting in stop-n-go traffic farting out emissions- it's a given that the quality of air is NOT ocean breezes or mountaintop clearness.

HELLO, We're the East coast version of LA smog! All you have to do it is step out the front door and you get smacked in the face with the stifling stinking stale air of metropolis USA.

In my opinion sending out annoying heart-stopping tones on the phone really isn't all that necessary. What's wrong with using the little email "ting"?  However, I'm not in charge so unless I want to delete this app that I paid money for, I guess it's just something I have to live with. And I will  "live with it"  because it's only June 4th and we've got a whooooooole summer of thunderstorms to go. Gotta stay prepared ya know.

I do wish I could do something about when the alert comes through. It's one thing when it happens at 6:30 in the morning (I mean who minds being woken up early? It can just be thought of as an early wake up call, right?). The other extreme of the alert coming through at 1 a.m. doesn't bother me much because I'm usually still up, however my husband isn't really a big fan of being startled out of deep sleep just a few hours after nodding off. But ya know what really is the killer here? It's that in-between middle of the day alert that gets me every time.

Today's mid-afternoon alert  (3:08 p.m. to be exact) - while standing in the middle of the juice aisle at Kroger ...now that was totally uncalled for. And if you don't believe me, just ask the four other people standing around me at the time. I really thought I might need to call 911 for the little grey-haired lady who almost dropped her bottle of prune juice. I really couldn't decide if I should try to console the infant who started screaming or run from his father who looked like he was ready to strangle me. And the teenage girls with pink hair and booty-showing short shorts, pointing and giggling - them I wanted to smack.

But you know what? I didn't do any of those things. Nope, I just reached into my purse and silenced the phone. Holding my head high I turned and walked away, pushing my cart of fresh veggies and Cheeto's,  muttering under my breath "Danger Will Robinson, danger!"

Summer's Here!

Today is the first day of summer .... unofficially. The official first day of summer is June 21st, otherwise known as the Summer Solstice. If you're into being a know-it-all the following will help you out:

Sol + stice derives from a combination of Latin words meaning "sun" + "to stand still." As the days lengthen, the sun rises higher and higher until it seems to stand still in the sky.

As a major celestial event, the Summer Solstice results in the longest day and the shortest night of the year. The Northern Hemisphere celebrates in June, but the people on the Southern half of the earth have their longest summer day in December.

Around here though everyone knows that Memorial Day really marks the beginning of summer. School is done for the year, pools are open, and people celebrate the holiday with parades, memorial services, family get-togethers, cookouts, baseball, and fireworks.

The Frazier clan rang in our newest season by doing what we do best. Eating! Yesterday after church our family and some friends gathered at the Ghengis Grill where we feasted on Mongolian stir fry dishes.  It was soooo good. I highly recommend you try it out but do your homework first and checkout their website so you'll have an idea how it works and what to use to build your bowl.

This afternoon we lunched at Taco Bell/KFC  where our food selections were split, two ate chicken, two ate tacos and nachos. It's a cheap lunch where we all find something we like and we ignore all the naysayers who claim it's not "real" food.

Tonight we dined at home, eating cheese ravioli covered in a garlic/onion marinara sauce, garlic bread, and salad  (oops, I never made it back to the grocery store so the salad was missing). We made up for the missing salad by having Dairy Queen blizzards for dessert. Yum, I love a heath bar blizzard.

There are some people who would claim in order to be really "American" our holiday menu should be comprised of grilled dogs and burgers, served with corn-on-the-cob, potato salad, and watermelon. All this, topped off with apple pie and homemade ice-cream, screams Americana. However I will argue that our diverse range of food selections is indicative of our country as a whole. America is made up of many ethnic backgrounds, each of which comes with it's own array of traditional food favorites. We, as a family, strive to include as many of those different cuisines as possible into our diet and I'd say for the most part we've been successful!

All this talk about food ... I guess it might appear that we're obsessed with or at the very least focused a little too much on it. Sadly I'll admit it's probably true seeing how most of our holiday family get-togethers are centered around eating. What can I say other than we really like to eat! Nothing yells fun more than an extended family seated around a dinner table enjoying each other's company and good eats.

Back in the days when the kids were younger, when Dale's brother's family lived in Georgia, when Grandpa and Uncle John were still alive, we spent most of the "summer holidays"  (Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day) together, usually in Rome.  It was all about family, food, and fireworks.

Andrew and I were going through the scrapbooks today and I found a few pages from 1998, 2000, and 2001.  at our house for Memorial Day, and
    in Rome for the 4th of July  and again in Rome 2001 

Things are different now. Time, distance, and life circumstances has made it difficult to continue the extended family holidays. For now we'll have to live with the memories of holidays past, and focus on creating new traditions. More importantly we need to remember to focus on the real reason for the holidays.

Today is Memorial Day and as our four immediate family members gathered together we took time today to remember past family gatherings. We also reflected on the brave men and women who serve our country and the memory of those who gave their lives so we could continue to live in freedom. We gave thanks to our Heavenly Father for the many blessings of life.

And then,

as irreverent as it sounds .... we chowed down.

And finally,  if you're not convinced that summer is really here, take a look at the coming week's forecast.   See all those 90's? Yowsa, I'm melting already!

Love at first sight?

I was working in the kitchen this afternoon. I can't remember exactly what I was doing but I'm positive it was something quite constructive. For the most part it had been a quiet day. Andrew was at work, Ian was on the road to Chattanooga to meet up with Sarah, and Eddie was enjoying an early release day by alternately watching educational TV (Wizards of Waverly Place is about science isn't it?) and riding his bicycle.

Suddenly I heard the screen door slam and the excited voice of a nine year old loudly exclaim "Guess what, I made a girlfriend!"

I didn't immediately respond as I was trying to figure out exactly what he meant by making a girlfriend. To understand this confusion you have to know Eddie. He's always making something, whether it be from Legos, Kleenex boxes, or paper and tape.

Lot's of tape.

Believe me when I say this kid can go through a roll of tape faster than I can down a bag of Cheetos!

I was even wondering if maybe he had gotten down into the dirt, added a little water, and formed a companion, calling her girlfriend. Or maybe he was just using his imagination like my boys did once-upon-a- time. Ian's friend was named Bobby and he was invisible. Andrew's friend was named Plank and he was a board with a face drawn on it. So who knows what kind of friend Eddie had bagged?

Before I could question him he cleared up the mystery by telling me the girlfriend was in fact human, a girl on a school bus, stopping at the stop sign at the corner. He was sitting on his bike in the driveway watching cars go by when the bus pulled up and he could hear the kids inside yelling and waving.

And then he saw her.

A girl with her face up to the window, madly waving at him. He didn't say but I am assuming he waved back ...  unless he was trying to play it cool. Somehow I don't think so!

And then it happened.

She took her two hands, put them together, and formed the shape of a heart.

And then, as quickly as it started - it ended. The bus moved on, driving off into the sunset, leaving behind one excited young boy. He raced inside to update me on his relationship status and proudly showed me how she gave him the signal by forming the hand-heart.

And then he turned around, heading back outside. He stopped briefly and exclaimed "WooHoo, she must think I'm HOT!"

Kid's really do say the darnedest things, don't they? All of which later becomes blog material for mom (or in this case the babysitter) or at the very least blackmail material for when they really do get a girlfriend. If your're a parent reading this you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Say It Ain't So

It appears I won't be wowing you with my latest project. Apparently my children, yes I am calling them CHILDREN today, think it's a dumb idea and are not cooperating with their part. HMPF! Obviously they have forgotten who went through torturous labor to bring them into this world. They don't seem to remember who SACRIFICED a career in order to save them from public school and give them the best darn education a mother's love could buy. Nor is number two remembering who's putting food on his plate this summer as well as sharing her ride. And surely number one will be crying for his mama later this summer while he's two thousand miles from home, dealing with whiny, homesick kids, eating camp food, and missing out on internet and cable tv.

I'm thinking that maybe the husband got wind of said project and is secretly singing hallelujah to it's demise. In fact I wouldn't put it past him to have spearheaded the whole "let's torpedo Mom's project" plan.  So, for now my project is on hold and will not be mentioned again until those two brats remember their place and the hubs begs for forgiveness.

But that's ok, because like an elephant, I never forget. I will keep it on the back burner and bring it back up when they least expect it, when they are at their most vulnerable, and in need of a favor. At that point, once again, I will reign and the boys will be at my mercy. As for the husband, even if he ends up being guiltless in this treachery, he did after all spawn these kids. Consequently he's guilty just by association and genes so it's only right that he will have to suffer right along with them.

Now that I got all that out of my system (Ifeelbetternowthankyouverymuch) I have to admit, upon waking this morning, I really wasn't all that excited about working in the 500-degree garage. The thought of going through all the junk just to pull out a piece of furniture suddenly didn't seem as appealing as it did yesterday. And while I still want to execute my decor change, it's not like it's a matter of life and death.

But, you know what? We really don't have to mention that fact to the males in this family. It never hurts to have a little leverage on hand for the next hair-brained idea I get.

So for now,


We'll just keep that little secret to ourselves. OK?