Monday, August 29, 2011

Are you a worrier?

Some people are just natural born worriers. They worry about anything and everything and while they don't necessarily like being a worrier they just can't help themselves.

I am one of those people.

I know it's bad to be a worrier, bad for my health and even worse for my sanity. I also know that it goes against God's Word (read here if you don't know what I'm talking about). Unfortunately knowing this hasn't stopped me from being a worrywart.

There are times when my worries are just little pricks of discomfort that hit me throughout the day. Other times I lay awake at night torturing myself with "what if" thoughts. I have big worries and small worries, legitimate worries and outrageous one.  Yes, I have so many worries I have categories for them!

Category one, the fluff and relatively unimportant stuff to worry about - what will I do if I get my hair cut and end up looking like a freak? What will I do if the paint color I just picked out makes my walls look like the inside of a harem? What will I do if I'm doomed to remain fat for the rest of my life?

Category two consists of things with legitimate concerns such as - how am I going to pay for _insert any one of a thousand things here _?  What are we gonna do when this ancient 100lb dog dies, where and how are we going to bury him? How will we live when we're too old to work, social security doesn't exist, and our retirement fund has dried up?

Category three centers around all those things which are totally out of my control and may or may not ever happen - What if this terrible storm blows all the trees over in our backyard and some of them land on our house? What if someone in my family gets sick or injured? What will happen if we suffer financial disaster?

And finally there's 
Category four, the outrageous "where is this coming from stuff?" -  What if I left the garage door open when I left this morning and I come home to find the pets roaming the neighborhood and strangers taking up residence inside? What happens if there really are people on other planets and they decide to take over the Earth? How will I survive if my computer dies and I no longer have access to the internet?

For the record, I don't worry all the time. There are days when I feel like I don't have a care in the world. And then, WHAM! The worry creeps in and I find myself filled with angst, fretting over some significant or insignificant "something." Today is a good example .... 

Yesterday was a good day. I watched a really great sermon online, had a nice lunch out with my husband, spent the better part of the day enjoying my day of "rest," enjoyed a surprise call from my youngest son, and went to bed without a care in the world.

Why then, did I find myself in the wee hours of the morning, wide awake, suffering from a Category Four worry?

What will we do if we get bed bugs in our house?

What? Bed bugs? Where'd that come from and why was I torturing myself with these thoughts at 3:30 in the morning? Maybe the only thing I really need to worry about is .... am I losing my mind? 

Saturday, August 27, 2011

where's that pot of gold?

My hubby is mowing the lawn which has me all in a dither.
working hard, against MY better judgment
The last time he mowed was the day he came down with the flu which turned into pneumonia. Now you might ask what does one have to do with the other?  While there is no scientific fact that getting overheated in 958 degree weather can lead to illness, I believe it did. So, it's only natural that little Miss Negativity would promptly assume that today's mowing will lead to a relapse.

It drives Dale nuts to have the grass looking scraggily so despite my exclamations of doom and gloom he's out there mowing away. Too bad those boys of ours are conveniently away at college 'cause I would definitely have them out there pulling lawn duty. Ian managed to get out of mowing all summer, so he'd be number on the list.

We have good news and bad news heading into the weekend.

GOOD NEWS: we got Dale's car back from the body shop and it looks as good as new. They even washed and waxed it so technically it looks much better than it did prior to the ACCIDENT.

see how pretty and shiny it is!
 I haven't said much here about the ACCIDENT because I've been so upset about it. I feel horrible because my husband loves his car and I went and messed it up. And, even though the ACCIDENT wasn't my fault (thanks a lot teenage girl not paying attention) it WAS my fault because (a) I was driving the car instead of my van. (b) I insisted on going in to pick up Dale's paycheck instead of letting a co-worker bring it by, and (c) I just had to get a Sonic Strawberry Limeade on the way home which caused me to be on the road where the ACCIDENT happened.

So there you have it ... I was responsible for wrecking my husband's beloved car.

Everyone says to be thankful the other driver was cited with the accident and that she has insurance which pays for the damages to be fixed. I am thankful but I was also mad because of the trouble and inconvenience we had to go through in order to get the car repaired. But all that is behind us now, so I will be happy for the good news that the car is home and looks great. However, I may never drive it again because I don't want to have to deal with the angst of being fearful of wrecking my husband's beloved car again. (angst of being fearful - am I being a bit redundant here?)

and now, for the BAD NEWS: did you know that if you are driving down a road in little Chambodia (aka Chamblee), Georgia, and you come to a left turn lane that has an arrow that turns from green to red you're supposed to stop? Especially if there's a cop sitting right there? Now if you're driving anywhere else in metro Atlanta you can watch and count the number of cars that go through that red turn arrow without nary a person being pulled over, even with cops in close proximity. I guess the trick is to only do it when there isn't a cop car right behind you.

I really think he got pulled over (did I mention this happened to DH not me?) because (a) it's the end of the month and the city needs it revenue and (b) the cop saw a big-ole-double-cab-white pickup truck with an Oklahoma licence tag on it and warning bells went off (not that I'm insinuating possible racial profiling or anything).

Now before you get your knickers in a wad over my statements, let me say .... yes, the light was red and he was in the wrong, and yes I'm aware of the bad things that can happen when people run red lights. And while usually DH is the one who never even thinks about not stopping and I'm usually the one yelling "go for it," this time he gambled and lost.
But holy cow, do you know how much it cost for running that red arrow? $150, that's what!

And of course that's money we don't have just sitting around. I'm thinking I might have to sell myself into slavery to cover the cost, though at my age I'm not sure we'll get enough to fully cover it. My other option is  to take the money that I was getting ready to use to pay off the remainder of a loan that's been hanging over my head for awhile.

Sigh .... This ticket also probably means we're going to have a big hit on our insurance.


There is however a silver lining to this part of the story ... that would be it was my hubby that got the ticket and not me. Don't you think I should be off the hook now for wrecking his car? Funny how these things work out, huh?

So, last night at dinner we were lamenting over the run of bad luck we've experienced lately. I'm so ready for this "season" to be over so I can go back to living my normal, carefree (ha!) life. We also acknowledged how ironic it was, after all these years of warning the boys about being responsible drivers, that in three short weeks we, the parents, managed to be the ones having accidents and getting traffic tickets ... a fact I'm sure they'll rub in our faces once they figure it out. 

Now while I go drag my husband away from mowing, I'll leave you with photos of my Spooky rolling around in her favorite spot in the yard. I swear there's some natural growing catnip there!
I feel good
oh so good
whatcha lookin' at Willis?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

It's no secret

I do not have a green thumb. In fact I'm pretty sure that anyone who knows me would say that I have a BROWN thumb. I've been known to kill the hardiest of plants ... without even trying .... it just happens.

Part of this lack of gardening skills is due to the fact that I cannot tell the difference between a plant and a weed. I guess if I used common sense I'd be able to figure it out. If it quickly dies - it must be a plant, and if it lives forever it must be a weed.

I have some greenery growing in my side yard. I'm pretty sure it's a weed because it shows up every spring, and no matter how many times we whack it down it comes back bigger and hardier. I guess you could say it grows like a - you got it, a weed.

As you can see, it's got huge leaves and purple berries.

I'd like to identify this plant weed, can you help me?

Monday, August 22, 2011

How do you wake up in the morning?

I have a question about something that has really been bugging me. Have you noticed that people who *live* in magazines, blogs, and decorating shows never have an alarm clock or clock radio on their bedside table? What's up with that? Do they not have to get up early? Do they just sleep until their body wakes up and never have to worry about getting a late start to their day? Do they never wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what time it is?

Below are some photographs I've run across lately. Most are pretty nice rooms, a few make me go , but in every one I'm wondering .... where's the ding-a-ling clock?
maybe those are talking photos in the frames and they yell "get up lazy-butt" when the time is right?

room for flowers but no alarm clock?

you'd think with all the crap stuff on this table they would have managed to  add a clock
maybe they hide one in the drawers? 

this room is so crazy LOUD with color and pattern I doubt anyone could fall asleep in it anyway
So, what's on your bedside table? Please tell me I'm not the only one with one of these 

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Last weekend we borrowed my sister-in-law's car to schlep all the boy's stuff up to school. We're so lucky she's willing to let us put all those miles and wear-and-tear on her car, especially since this isn't the first time we've used it travel to Knoxville.

Thank's Pat, you're a lifesaver! 

Last Sunday we met up in Cumming to get the car from her. It was one of those kill-two-birds-with-one-stone events. We got to do the car swap and visit with GiGi at the same time. As usually happens whenever two or more of the Frazier siblings get together, photos had to be made. We did a family shot which I'm actually going to post on my blog ... for once, I'm not making a monkey face!

All the Fraziers look pretty happy here (smiles with teeth showing - something I canNOT do). The two in-laws look a bit serious though. I'm not sure what's going through Bill's mind but me ... I'm pretty sure I was  thinking "we're only posing so you crazies will leave us alone. Now hurry up and get it over with!"

Look at my hand! (like I really need to point out the obvious) I'm not real sure what's going on there. I think it may have been levitating. And, what's up with Ian looking so short? That's not going to make him very happy. At least he can show off his weight loss, they really worked him hard at camp this summer and he came home several pounds lighter. Doesn't he look good? If I had know this camp was good for weight loss I really would have followed him to Seattle.

Anyway, back to borrowing the car. We returned it today and it made me sad to say goodbye. Sad for a couple of reasons -

1. Saying goodbye to the Element was also saying goodbye to driving in air conditioning. It's back to the hot-as-hades Previa for me. Fall please come quick so I can stop whining about the hot weather. My readers will forever be in your debt!

2. Saying goodbye to the Element was also saying to goodbye to a car that still smells new after many years. Seriously this car always smells like we just drove it off the lot. It's the first thing Eddie said when I picked him up at school "Ms Sherri, why does this car always smell new? My mom's car is only a year old and it stopped smelling this good a long time ago!" I don't the the secret other than Pat says it's because it's made of rubber. Whatever the secret, it needs to be patented and sold.

3. Saying goodbye to the Element was also saying goodbye to driving something smaller than my tank of a van but big enough to hold an entire dorm room of stuff. I'm still kicking myself for not getting a photo of this car packed like a can of sardines. It was awesome!

4. Saying goodbye to the Element means saying goodbye to the cool car and hello to driving the soccer mom van. Which is sorta crazy since my kids never played soccer. Really though, a Previa isn't exactly a soccer mom van. That award goes to the Sienna's and Odyssey's - a Previa is actually a Mexican day laborer's dream mobile. I think I'm the only Caucasian female driver of one in all of America. OUCH, I can't believe I actually said that out loud. 

Do you want to see the car that makes me drool? Here we are in 2009 as we prepare to borrow it for the first time to cart Andrew off to school.

I'll never forget my initial thoughts when my SIL first bought this car .... it looks like a lunchbox on wheels. After riding in it I quickly discovered what a little gem it was and  fell in love. So much so that I've told her if she ever wants to sell it, please let me have first dibs. I'd be willing to sell off my first born for that car ... oh wait, I doubt the market for twenty-one year old male children is very lucrative so I'll need to come up with a better idea. Whatever, I'll figure it out.

Of course I can always dream of picking the right numbers in the lottery and then I can go buy a brand new one of my own. Most people who win the lottery run out and buy high-end luxury cars - me, I'll settle for a Honda Element. How crazy is that? I think I'd like it in green - to match my eyes.

Wouldn't this look awesome with me behind the wheel?

Friday, August 19, 2011

We need to have a moment of silence.... tomorrow I will tell you why .... and you'll scream "seriously?"

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Day One back in the Empty Nest

Yesterday was a whirlwind of activity. We successfully navigated the trip to Knoxville to deposit our sons and all most of their worldly belongings. It was a bittersweet day.

Even though I have repeatedly made comments about getting my life and house back in order, I will miss my boys dreadfully. They bring chaos and disorder, but they also bring laughter and fun, deep theological and political discussions, and general everyday conversation and companionship.

As we departed last night I felt a sadness that I didn't expect. It came from the realization that this is the fourth and final time we will be dropping Ian off. As a senior facing graduation he is perched on the edge of the nest ready to fly permanently away from mama bird. I've been pushing him out of the nest for three years now, but he's always returned. This time though I anticipate watching his wings spread wide as he soars through the air, seeking a new adventure, disappearing faintly into the horizon. I liken it to the story of Noah
 6 After forty days Noah opened a window he had made in the ark 7 and sent out a raven, and it kept flying back and forth until the water had dried up from the earth. 8 Then he sent out a dove to see if the water had receded from the surface of the ground. 9 But the dove could find nowhere to perch because there was water over all the surface of the earth; so it returned to Noah in the ark. He reached out his hand and took the dove and brought it back to himself in the ark. 10 He waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. 11 When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth. 12 He waited seven more days and sent the dove out again, but this time it did not return to him.
We were able to talk in the few short days he was home about what his future might hold. So many possibilities, so many responsibilities, so many decisions to make. And while Mom and Dad are here for moral support and advice when asked for, he's facing the fact that he's now an adult and ultimately it's up to him to make life's choices. I know that Ian is ready to be on his own even when he expresses fear of the unknown and feeling a bit overwhelmed concerning his future. I have no doubt he will make good choices but as a mother I don't think I will ever stop worrying and fretting over him.

Before I get any more maudlin over the situation, I present these photos which gives you a glimpse of the chaos I've been screeching about.

 This is what the boy's bedroom looked like twelve hours before time to leave.

Clothes, books, musical instruments, and boxes everywhere.


I walked into his room, not to find him frantically packing, but sitting in the midst of all this chaos, strumming his guitar. Naturally I squawked and he politely reminded me "Mom! I've missed my guitar. Don't worry. I've got it under control,  I'll be ready in the morning." And you know what? He was!

Here's a shot of the aftermath which to some of you may appear to still be a mess, but goodness what an improvement. Just give me a couple of days and I will whip this place into shape, I might even slap a few coats of paint on the walls.

Meanwhile the only other thing I have to say about this guy is, last night as we were turning onto our street I got this text   haha! Gosh I love this boy!

Andrew has been sitting on the sidelines listening to our conversations about the future. Ever the planner, it's beginning to sink in that he is right behind his brother. He's already thinking ahead to next summer when he has to serve an internship with a non-profit organization. This summer's internship with our youth minister was a dream summer job - getting paid to work with the youth, go on trips, and in general have a fun-filled summer. Next year will be an entirely different story. But don't fret about it now son, just enjoy your junior year as student body vice president (did you like the way I snuck in that proud mommy moment?) My son, a natural born leader.   The VP and his roommate, Ben.

I don't have any crazy chaos photos to show of Andrew's room. Even in the midst of all the stuff he managed to keep things fairly neat. He began the packing process over the weekend and had all his stuff boxed and stacked in the dining room waiting to be loaded into the car. There was a LOT of it though and I was having serious doubts as to what was actually going to make the cut. One day I'll learn not to doubt his ability to pack a car ... every single thing made it, albeit not an inch to spare.

I do have a shot of his room after the school stuff was gone
 see how neat and orderly he is? He's that way all the time .... I guarantee you he's going to make some girl a wonderful husband one day!

Oh, oh ... do you see the see the black rolling chair there in front of the window? We will have a moment of silence for what wasn't meant to be. Both boys were extremely sad that their beloved office chairs had to be left behind. Short of strapping them to the back of the cars and pulling them all the way to Knoxville, there just wasn't room on this trip. For the record, I did offer up this solution but strangely enough it was voted down. But that's ok, by keeping the chairs hostage at home I am ensured of a return visit fairly soon.

We were excited to see Sarah on campus. She's looking so cute with her new short haircut (that I forgot to take a photo of so you'll just have to take my word for it). We got to see where graduate students live (no more dorms, yay!) and were treated to a yummy dinner that she cooked just for us. She brought us all something back from her visit home this summer. I'm so excited to have enough chapstick to cover my lips for the next year and this beautiful washi paper (I can't wait to make something with it, more on that later, just trust me when I say the photo doesn't do justice to the paper, it's gorgeous!), and Dale got a snack mix that he loves. She shared with us her trip to northern Japan in the area where the tsunami hit. It's too much to share here but if you like you can read her account here

After our short visit with Sarah we knew it was time to say our goodbyes and head home where our empty nest was awaiting us. Hugs all around. I have to admit I got a little teary eyed telling my youngest goodbye. I'm going to miss his visits to my room late at night just to chat and the afternoons he was off work and chose to spend time with mom (he loves Chick-fil-A almost as much as me!). It's going to be pretty quiet without the sounds coming from the xbox and hearing his laughter and shouts as he games with his friends.

Let's be honest here for a minute. I would be remiss if I also didn't include that I'm gonna miss not having someone here to run to Kroger for that one ingredient I need to complete dinner. I'm not however, gonna miss waiting up late at night for him to come home! Sorry, I'm one of those mommas.

I'm going to miss the older boy too, but not as much since he abandoned us for the summer. It's sorta been like he was still at school all this time. I think he was just preparing us for what is to come. This little bird is on the edge of nest, flapping his wings, preparing to take flight ...

and all the while mama bird is sitting back in her nest clapping and crying at the same time.

I'll comfort myself by sharing some photos that I shamelessly snagged off Facebook of my chickadees having summer fun.

Andrew white water rafting with the middle schoolers

 Ian and his fellow Camp Sambica buddies....yes, that is GUM stuck all over the wall. Gross!

 Sarah having a meal in Japan with family and friends.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

24 Hours and Counting

My kitchen smells like bacon. Last night we had bacon and eggs for dinner and it smelled and tasted wonderful. This morning the lingering day-old smell of bacon is not so heavenly. Apparently the dog doesn't agree because he keeps walking around with his nose up in the air sniffing and giving me those sad puppy dog stares Well, the sad eye look is only in one eye because he's blind in one eye and the bad eye just has a glazed over vacant look, which in and of itself is pretty sad.

Anywho, my kitchen smells like stale, leftover bacon. My house is a wreck as the boys are frantically filling every available space with stuff to take back to school. There are boxes everywhere. The cat, who's figured out something is going on, is rummaging through the clothes, books, electrical equipment, and such. I can't decide if she's trying to figure out a way to stow away or if she's making sure the boys don't abscond with some of her toys.

And me ... I'm trying hard not to lose control and run screaming through the house (though at this point it is tempting as those boys need to get their rears out of bed and finish packing). It's not that I'm trying to avoid a meltdown due to the impending empty nest that is about to be. In fact I've gotten rather used to having it be just me and the hubs. No, what I'm trying to hold at bay is the anxiety I feel creeping in due to all the clutter that surrounds me.

I'm going to take a deep breath and behave myself today. I plan on looking past the mess and focus on enjoying the last day of having my sons at home. I'm not going to stress over getting a battery for the boy's car which sits dead in the driveway. I'm not going to worry about how all the crap that fills my house is going to fit into two automobiles. I'm not going to dread the eight hours of driving we face tomorrow. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself because the summer break is over and my boys are leaving home and I'm certainly not going to think about how it might be the last time for my oldest who is starting his senior year. I'm definitely not going to think about how quiet and empty this old house is going to be come this weekend.

What I am going to do is bask in the anticipation of reclaiming my space, free of clutter, and then I'm gonna come up with a plan for training the man of the house to put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher at the end of the day. Keep your fingers crossed!

Monday, August 8, 2011

What's worse than being home with a sick husband?


Just kidding, love ya honey-bunny.

My poor husband is home sick today, something that rarely happens. He's felt lousy, aches and pains all weekend, and as of this morning running a temperature of 103. Yikes! Whoever heard of having the flu in the summer?

I'm just guessing he has the flu based on the symptoms. I'm not a doctor, I just play the part 'cause who wants to pay  for a doctor visit? Not me!

I do hope and pray he gets better quickly and I'm really hoping I don't get whatever it is he has. There's too much going on this week and next, I don't have time to deal with being sick.

I stated earlier hubby had a fever as of today, technically that is incorrect. I'm pretty sure he might have been running one when he woke me in the middle of the night Saturday, saying he was having chills. And, I'm pretty sure he might have been running one Sunday at church when he had me running around during service asking for drugs (my apologies to all the fellow worshipers at HMCC, I really hope for your sake he didn't shake your hand or anything).

I'm positive he had one when I got into bed last night and he was putting off so much heat I really wanted to sleep in another room. However I didn't know for sure until this morning when I went out and bought a thermometer because wouldn't you know it ... there wasn't one single thermometer in the whole ding-dang house. NOT ONE!

Of course even if I had found one, chances are it wouldn't have been an oral thermometer - that's how long it's been since we've had sickness around here. For a bunch of people who never go to the doctor, seldom eat right, and never get a flu shot, we seem to be quite the healthy bunch.

Anywho, I bought a thermometer. It was one of those new-fangled digital ones. I guess they stopped making the kind we used decades ago. Probably because of the risk of breakage and release of mercury. Do you remember how cool it was to snap one in two and see the mercury blob roll around in your palm? Not that I ever did that or anything, how smart would that have been?

Alas, the only thing fun about the new digital thermometers is the beep it gives you within nine seconds, alerting you to your temperature status.

Yes, you read that right, NINE SECONDS. Back in the golden olden days it used to take three minutes to get the results. Three looooong minutes. The younger the patient the longer those three minutes took. But now - woohoo, instant results! It's really amazing when you think about how much improved things are now.

Gone are the days of assaulting an already irritable and cranky baby with a rectal probe. Nowadays you can use one of these  or these 

Gone are the days of sitting on a thrashing toddler while attempting to hold his arm to his side, holding the utensil of torture under his armpit. Today you have this
ear thermometer 

Gone are the days of trying to teach a child how to hold the thermometer under his tongue, and oh by the way, if you don't STOP talking we're going to have to start all over again....  Today you can use one of these
forehead thermometer 
and junior can continue that incessant chatter that just.won't.stop.

It just blows me away how many EASY options are out there now. But if none of those work for you, there's always the tried and true method that mothers have used for centuries. A simple kiss on the forehand will immediately confirm what most women already know .... you have a fever. 

Guess what? It works on husbands too! 

Over and out, I'm off to check on my patient.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

one more broken thing ....

Earlier in the week Andrew mowed the lawn, well, he cut the front but about 3/4 of the way through it one of the rear wheels broke off the lawn mower. He was able to finish up on three wheels (sure wish I had thought to get a photo of it, I bet people driving by got a real kick out of it!).

Great! Just one more thing we've had to deal with this summer. It's been one bit of misfortune right after the other. Buying a new mower is definitely not in the budget right now so my hubby is out back trying to reattach the wheel. I hear the motor running so hopefully it's a good sign.

The grass in the back has gotten pretty tall, so much so the cat thinks she's in jungle heaven and won't be too happy with her daddy when he cuts the grass.

Too bad, so sad. It drives Dale bananas when the grass goes too long without a trim so the jungle is a goner.  I'll take a cranky cat over a cranky husband any day so let's just keep our fingers crossed that the repair job holds up. 

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I got up this morning to discover this staring me in the face. Hmmm, where'd those come from? Oh yeah, the boy had a birthday. He came in after we'd gone to bed last night, I guess he brought them home from Youth Group. How nice, the kids celebrated his birthday!

I don't normally eat sweets. I guess some of you might find that weird, especially since I've confessed here to eating out of the sugar bowl as a kid and loving sugar and butter sandwiches. However, for the most part I don't really care for cakes, cookies, cupcakes, and pies. I'm more of a chips and salsa, Pringles kinda girl.

So, it was pretty surprising to me that upon seeing that box of cupcakes I was overcome with the urge to eat one.

I held out all morning and halfway through the afternoon before I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to have one!

I carefully peeled off the wrapper.

Wow, that's a lot of icing.

Woohoo, this is gonna be GOOD.

Hmmm .... it's ...... ok.

Well, to be honest, it's not as good as it looks.

In fact,

It's really not very good at all!

Ugh, I think I will stop now. Why should I stuff myself with something that really doesn't taste all that good, and definitely isn't good for me?

Whew, I feel much better now.

On another note, I'm getting my hair cut this evening. This is the first time I've had my hair professionally cut in many, many years. In the past I've relied on my husband or myself to do it but have decided it's time to bite the bullet and let someone who knows what they're doing try to fix me up.

My hair has gotten ridiculously thin the the last couple of years. Hopefully Peaches can do something with it that will look fabulous and make me look ten years younger. Ok, I'd settle for five. And, I'd totally settle for looking my age if only she can give me a cut that can make this fat face look thinner.

I'm gonna live on the wild side and post a before photo here. Everyone knows that's a stretch for me since I hate having my photo taken and I'm definitely not all that photogenic. Depending on how it all turns out, I may be back on later to post the results.

Wish me luck!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

It's been a rough couple of days

On top of it being 900 degrees outside (have I mentioned lately that I'm driving around without air conditioning?), I have been dealing with some aches and pains. It started Saturday, stabbing pains on my left side right where the rib cage meets the sagging boobs (my apologies to any males reading this). The pain goes away while I'm sleeping but returns late morning.

Being the ever resourceful person I am, I went on the internet and have self-diagnosed the pain. I think it's  Costochondritis isn't it wonderful that I have such good medical knowledge? I didn't even have to pay a co-pay, have numerous expensive tests run, or even leave the comfort of my own home to get the low-down.

Of course, I really have no idea what the actual problem is but at the moment am working with my self-diagnosis by self- medicating. The first thing I did was throw out the underwire bra which in addition to aggravating the pain is what I personally think started all this nonsense to begin with. I'm also alternating Tylenol and ibuprofen, and applying ice which is helping to cool my body down in this gosh-awful heat.  I told my husband if it hasn't gone away after a week I'll think about seeing a real professional.

In case you didn't know it, I hate going to the doctor. Actually hate isn't a strong enough word. Try loathe, despise, abhor, ..... add them all together and you get a fraction of what I feel. Consequently I'd rather do just about anything to avoid going into a doctor's office. Evidence of this is the fact that I've only seen one medical expert in the last five years or so and that was only because there was a growth the size of Mt Rushmore emerging from my palm. The fact that it took an additional visit to a specialist to remove said-growth, two injections, a scalpel, lot's of cutting, scraping, and squirting blood, only reinforces my aversion to seeking help from a professional. Doctor = pain = Sherri running for the hills. 

Yes, I know this fear is irrational but then I never claimed to be a rational person to begin with, now did I? 

One would think this would be enough for any one person to bear right now, but then I'm not just any person. I like to heap the pain and suffering on, just call me Job. This morning I woke up early, as in too early for ME to get up and start my day, so I decided to lay in bed reading the internet on my phone. Ordinarily this would not be such a big deal but I think my body was saying "hey stupid, since you're already suffering some pain, let's add something else to the mix and see just what kind of stamina you've really got!" 

I'm a side sleeper. Not by choice but because I've figured out that sleeping on my back or stomach causes two problems - one, nightmares (yes, I know that's weird but every time I sleep on either my back or stomach I end up having horrible, terrible, no-good nightmares), and two, my back is prone to going out if I lay on it too long. This morning was too long, and now I have major pains in my lower back. I look like Tim Conway's old man  shuffling across the floor when walking and it took twice as long getting dress this morning because I couldn't bend over to pull up my pants! 

So here I sit, hunched over the computer, sporting an ice pack, and whining about all my aches and pains. I think a lot of it has to do with life and the luck of the draw but a tiny part of it also might have to do with my emotional state. You see, yesterday was a bittersweet day for me, one that reminded me that life is rushing by, I'm not getting any younger and those around me are growing up.

Yesterday my baby, yes, MY BABY   , reached a milestone. It was his 20th birthday! 

and suddenly I am no longer the mother of a teenager, but the mother of two GROWN sons. Where did all the time go? It seems like just yesterday we were welcoming number two into the family. The husband and I were all excited. We had already mastered parenthood and were looking forward to being the Cleaver family of the 20/21st century.

Some would say "as luck would have it", me .... I'm thinking it was totally God saying let's throw this family a curve ball and see how they handle it, whichever you choose to believe, suddenly we were having an "aha" moment. We were thinking number two would be laid back and easy going like his brother. Imagine our surprise when, from day one, this little buggar was the total opposite. Our first clue should have come when he attempted his great escape the day before his planned extraction. Of course I got the last laugh by keeping him in place for over twelve grueling hours before proceeding as planned. The whole birth experience proved to be a pre-cursor to the years to come. This child was full of energy, the epitome of stubbornness and determination, and lived in world defined in black and white ... so totally opposite of his dad and his brother, and so very much like his mother!

It's been a roller coaster of a ride these last twenty years but I must say it's a ride I wouldn't give up for anything. I'm so proud of my little man that has grown into a big man. He's not only a wonderful son but he's also a wonderful person, one that any mother would be proud to call her own.

I'll leave you now to look at few photos of my handsome boy growing up, and me .... I'm going back to icing my back and researching the internet. Do you think it's too late for me to go back to school and become one of those dreadful medical doctors?


  Isn't he cute, don't you just want to squeeze him and take him home?