Just kidding, love ya honey-bunny.
My poor husband is home sick today, something that rarely happens. He's felt lousy, aches and pains all weekend, and as of this morning running a temperature of 103. Yikes! Whoever heard of having the flu in the summer?
I'm just guessing he has the flu based on the symptoms. I'm not a doctor, I just play the part 'cause who wants to pay for a doctor visit? Not me!
I do hope and pray he gets better quickly and I'm really hoping I don't get whatever it is he has. There's too much going on this week and next, I don't have time to deal with being sick.
I stated earlier hubby had a fever as of today, technically that is incorrect. I'm pretty sure he might have been running one when he woke me in the middle of the night Saturday, saying he was having chills. And, I'm pretty sure he might have been running one Sunday at church when he had me running around during service asking for drugs (my apologies to all the fellow worshipers at HMCC, I really hope for your sake he didn't shake your hand or anything).
I'm positive he had one when I got into bed last night and he was putting off so much heat I really wanted to sleep in another room. However I didn't know for sure until this morning when I went out and bought a thermometer because wouldn't you know it ... there wasn't one single thermometer in the whole ding-dang house. NOT ONE!
Of course even if I had found one, chances are it wouldn't have been an oral thermometer - that's how long it's been since we've had sickness around here. For a bunch of people who never go to the doctor, seldom eat right, and never get a flu shot, we seem to be quite the healthy bunch.
Anywho, I bought a thermometer. It was one of those new-fangled digital ones. I guess they stopped making the kind we used decades ago. Probably because of the risk of breakage and release of mercury. Do you remember how cool it was to snap one in two and see the mercury blob roll around in your palm? Not that I ever did that or anything, how smart would that have been?
Alas, the only thing fun about the new digital thermometers is the beep it gives you within nine seconds, alerting you to your temperature status.
Yes, you read that right, NINE SECONDS. Back in the golden olden days it used to take three minutes to get the results. Three looooong minutes. The younger the patient the longer those three minutes took. But now - woohoo, instant results! It's really amazing when you think about how much improved things are now.
Gone are the days of assaulting an already irritable and cranky baby with a rectal probe. Nowadays you can use one of these or these
Gone are the days of sitting on a thrashing toddler while attempting to hold his arm to his side, holding the utensil of torture under his armpit. Today you have this
Gone are the days of trying to teach a child how to hold the thermometer under his tongue, and oh by the way, if you don't STOP talking we're going to have to start all over again.... Today you can use one of these
It just blows me away how many EASY options are out there now. But if none of those work for you, there's always the tried and true method that mothers have used for centuries. A simple kiss on the forehand will immediately confirm what most women already know .... you have a fever.
Guess what? It works on husbands too!
Over and out, I'm off to check on my patient.