Thursday, August 2, 2012

Today is my baby's birthday! He's twenty-one today and I guess I should stop calling him my baby ... at least in public.

My gift to him was two hours of time spent together at the DDS getting his license renewed. I wanted to take his picture there but I know my children's limits. It was bad enough that I posted our whereabouts on facebook, taking his photo would have probably resulted in me having to thumb a ride home.

If you're wondering why a 21 year old has his mom go to the DDS with him it's because of all the new guidelines for renewing/obtaining a driver's license. In addition to your birth certificate and your social security card you also have to have two documents that verify your mailing address. That last part is pretty hard for a college student who has no bills to pay.

So, I gathered up everything I could find and took a manila envelope full of bills and statements up there. The girl behind the counter made a comment to the effect of, "she's certainly prepared isn't she?" After hearing all the horror stories on the news there was no way I was going to come away without his new license, so you betcha I was prepared! Personally I think she was impressed at my efficiency. 

I decided while I had the attention of someone who knows the ins and outs of the new law I'd take the opportunity to ask about my own situation. It's not something I have to worry about for another couple of years but I had the feeling my case was going to be difficult and I decided it would be better to know now rather than later

And I was right.

The name on my birth certificate does not match my name on my social security card. Argh! It's all my grandmother's fault. And, mother's too 'cause she caved to her crazy demands.

First of all, my mother initially wanted to name me Deborah. Problem is my grandmother couldn't pronounce it correctly. According to her it was Dee-bore-ah. After failed attempts to get her to pronounce it Deb-rah Mother gave up and went to Plan B.

Plan B - Sherri. You can't screw that up can ya? No, but then Momie (as my my grandmother was called) really got her feathers ruffled over that selection. No way was her grandbaby going to be named after WINE! Seriously, wine? Darn tootin'!

So, Mother got creative and came up with Sheryl (to make Momie happy) and everyone else will call the baby Sherri (ironically as far I can recall I don't think Momie ever called me Sheryl). Anyway, when the time came my mother filled out the birth certificate naming me Sheryl Marie. Except, in her haste to get it over and done with Mother got carried away with her loop-d-loops and officially listed my first name as Sheryle. Sigh, never knew it was so hard to name a baby.

Commercial break:
So, who thinks the baby looks like his mama?

Now, back to our story ...

Where was I. Oh yeah, sign the birth certificate, take the baby home and that was the end of Sheryl/Sheryle. From that time on every other document including school records, doctor records, driver's licenses, social security card, and employment records all list me as Sherri. Which has worked out fine until now, thanks to the US Government, illegal aliens, and terrorist trying to invade our country.

According to the chick at the DDS all the records have to match when it comes to your name. She told me I had two choices. I could get my Social Security records changed back to the original first name OR I could a new birth certificate issued. Oh, what to do, what to do?

One day I hope that I will be able to draw social security (yes, I'm an optimist that it will still be around in my lifetime) so I really don't want to mess with changing that. Especially considering how many different employment records I have under Sherri, can you imagine how screwed up it could get? Besides, I never liked the name Sheryl/Sheryle (no offense to anyone with that name) and have no intention of using it now. Now one will know who I am!

My other choice, is to go through Probate Court and officially have my name changed and a new birth certificate issued. Sounds like a lot of work but I guess it's the better option of the two. Hmmm, maybe I can have them give me a new birth date too and knock off a few years. No wait, that would just put me further out claiming social security ... never mind.

I guess I do have a third choice. I could just not renew my license and give up driving. I hate driving in all the traffic around here anyway so maybe that is the way to go.

Oh well, I've got two years to figure it out so I'll try not to lose sleep over it now. Yeah, right.

Here's a photo of me and my boy a couple of years ago  Isn't he handsome? Gosh I love that boy. Happy Birthday, Andrew!!

ps - in looking for my baby picture I found all my old report cards, elementary through high school. I was wrong about using Sherri throughout. Apparently some years I was Sherri and others I was Sheryl (at least on paper, no one ever dared actually call me Sheryl). So, I have to wonder ... did I actually graduate from high school??? The diploma says so but I'm not so sure!

ps #2 - one of the dogs chewed on my high school diploma, maybe it was an acknowledgment of my fake graduation. 

Sigh, now I'm really confused. Who am I? I guess if I'm going to have to legally change my name I could just pick something totally different. How about Lola? I look like a Lola don't ya think?


  1. You sort of DO look like a Lola. Ok, maybe not. I've gotta vote for probate. I mean, you need to preserve the dignity of that name. You'll always be Sherri to me, that's for sure, Lola. And indeed he is a handsome young man. Damn girl, your two baby pics look EXACTLY the same! Hey! Speaking of your family, if you change your name, maybe everybody else in your family should do the same! Just think of the possibilities.

  2. I love you so much. I just sit here and laugh through the whole blog. Not only are you artistic but you're such a comedian. Not fare. You got all the talent in the family. But I DO ENJOY AND LAUGH through the blogs. I never knew about the Sheryl think. I thought all the hub bub was about you having Marie as a second name; because they had no children. And then along comes Christie. Mother thought about changing Marie to Maria....I love the baby twin pictures. Precious. And, as I write this I am printing the picture of you and Andrew grown up. GREAT picture of both of you. I know how photogenic me and you are. Think I print the baby pictures too. Any-who, I vote for probate an Biddy Bo. You bring me such entertainment and I thank you.