I'm on day 9,567 of no air in the van - well, not really. It's only been a couple of weeks but it feels more like years. I'm doing a lot of sweating (whoever said "girls don't sweat they glisten" .... LIED!), my hair looks like a tangled web of straw, and I'm oh, so very cranky. For those of you who find it hard to believe I can be any crankier than usual, just ask the guys in my life. They'll quickly tell you that a no-A/C- Sherri is a thousand times worse than menopausal-Sherri. My only response .... GRRRRRR!
Meanwhile I'm trying to come up with ways to keep cool while driving around. I dress as skimpily as I can get away with without getting arrested or making people throw up. I've bought all kinds of hair barrettes and rubber bands to try and keep my hair in place or at least stop it from slapping me in the eyes with it's loose ends. I never leave home without a bottle of water, but am constantly fighting the urge to substitute it with an adult drink that just might take my mind off my situation but would also create a whole 'nuther dilemma, being illegal and all.
And finally, I'm cutting out all non-essential driving, which in and of itself is a good thing financially. No more unnecessary trips to the grocery store. No meeting friends for lunch. No spur of the moment runs to Michaels or Hobby Lobby. I do, however, draw the line at giving up my weekly lunch treat at Chick-fil-A ... some things are just too sacred.
I'm sure everyone is wondering just how long they're going to have to hear(read) me whining about poor, poor me and my awful, desperate situation. Well the answer to that is TOO LONG! According to these guys, there's no chance of significant change until at least October. Yes, I said OCTOBER, that month that is at least 65 days away. Oh my, you might as well lock me up now, 'cause I'm pretty sure this could be a sanity-losing couple of months.
According to the weather channel guys I'm living in the wrong place right now. Their map says there are two spots with cooler than normal temps. One would be Florida where cooler than normal could be something ridiculous like 90* instead of 95..... both of which is still too stinkin' hot for riding sans A/C. It's the other spot that has me really steaming, and that would be the Pacific coastline. As in California, Oregon, and Washington. Knowing this has really stuck in my craw because guess who has a son, her first born, living the life of Riley in cool Seattle Washington?
Yes, that would be me. Hot, cranky, menopausal, Sherri, who today is seeing this
and Ian (or "N" as his grandmother insists on calling him) is seeing this . Let me tell you, if I had known how this summer was going to play out I would have signed up for working at camp. I grew up going to camps so I'm pretty sure I could have figured out how to pull my weight there. (alrighty, no fat jokes here, got that?). He must be having a good time 'cause we never hear from him, in fact the only evidence that he's still alive and kicking is the occasional Facebook photo post from one of his friends and an email from AT&T that his phone is getting ready to max out on data use. What a life.
If only I would have known, I would have tagged along to Camp Sambica, and me and my boy could have hung out together all summer long. Can you imagine how fun that would have been .... And cool, oh - so cool!
Ahahahaha, I can see him now, rolling his eyes and thanking the good Lord that I am NOT in Washington. He's also thinking the heat has really gotten to me and that I've lost what little sanity I had left.
Oh, who am I kidding. He's not reading my blog. Because if he were he'd be calling home right now checking up on his mama. And you know what? My phone's NOT ringing!
Don't worry, I'm ok (sniff, sniff), only seventeen more days and the boy will home. Back to Hotlanta, eatin' mama's home cooking, and chauffeuring her around in his air conditioned car ... the one sitting in the driveway .... the one that mama doesn't know how to drive ...
Oops, I guess that little tidbit just lost me the sympathy vote, huh?