I was taking a shower this morning, blissfully minding my own business, when I suddenly felt the presence of others. Fortunately we have a glass shower door so I wasn't in danger from someone lurking behind a shower curtain. However, I was certain that someone or something was watching me bathe.
Looking to my right I spotted the culprit stealthly climbing along the shower wall. It was a spider. He wasn't huge, in fact, his body was only about the size of a seed bead. His legs however were long and spindly. Regardless of the size I was pretty sure I didn't want to encourage fellowship so I drew a line on the wall with shampoo and dared him to cross it. I also splashed water in his direction, hoping he'd run to the opposite end of the shower stall.
He didn't retreat but he didn't advance either. He just stood (or sat) there and stared at me. I briefly wondered if spiders were like flies and had compound eyes. You'd think having multiple images of a naked me would be enough to scare him off, but no, this spider wasn't budging.
I quickly finished up, all the while keeping an eye on Hector to make sure he wasn't preparing to strike. I'm not sure why I called him that, he just looked like a Hector. Anyway, I figured as long as Hector behaved himself I'd leave him alone to carry on protecting my home. Spiders take out all kinds of other insects and as long as they aren't huge and don't have hairy legs they're a plus not a minus.
As I reached to turn the water off I let out a little squeal. Evidently Hector had a friend and he was right there glaring at me from the base of the cold water handle. I began to feel a bit conflicted. It's one thing to allow an itsy-bitsy spider to cohabit with my family, it's a whole 'nuther ball game when one becomes two. What if spider number two is a she and they intend on starting a family right there in my bathroom?
I turned quickly, grabbed a towel hanging from the bar across the back of the shower, and prepared to flee the scene. Imagine my horror as I saw spider number three dangling from the ceiling right in front of me. It was then I realized that Hector and Helen (spider #2) were probably just siblings out for play, and here was Mama seeking out her children. Mama was bigger, and while she didn't have hairy legs, the menacing look in her beady little eyes sent a cold chill down my spine.
It was then that I knew quick action was called for. Be damned with the theory that spiders are good for keeping the home clear of other unwanted insects, these uninvited guests had to go. With Ninja like skills I took my towel, twisted it into a rat tail (it looks something like this , and in quick succession popped Hector, Helen, and Mama. Amazingly I finished off the children with one pop each. Mama took two, but that's because she was dangling from the ceiling and it took one pop to knock her to the ground, and then a second one to finish her off.
I was quite pleased with myself that I was able to defend my home so deftly. I felt a little unclean after battle though and debated on whether or not a second shower was warranted. I quickly dismissed the plan because I wasn't sure if there was enough hot water left to wash away the stench from the fight. That, and I wasn't entirely sure that Mama, Hector, and Helen were the only spiders hiding in my shower.
Surely there's a daddy-spider lurking around somewhere and anyone who's ever crushed a spider sack knows there's hundreds of those little buggars dwelling in one. Chances are they were all silently watching the massacre and are now plotting revenge. Darn it, I should have just left well enough alone. Now I have one more thing to fear .... the revenge of the shower spiders. Wouldn't that make a lovely SyFy movie?
For those of you wondering, no I don't have any photos of the battle. Contrary to popular belief I don't take my camera everywhere. Even I draw the line at bathroom shots. That's just .... ewwwwwwww!