Monday, January 24, 2011

Top ten things I have no desire to do

I'm pretty sure there is going to be a recurring theme to my top ten list today. I'll go ahead and admit up front that I have a lot of fears in my life. Some of you may prefer to use the term "phobias". Fear, phobia, whatever they are, I have them and their existence is glaringly evident in my top ten. 

On to the list:
  1. I have absolutely no desire or inclination to jump out of an airplane. That said, I must also confess that I absolutely hate flying so it would only be natural to say I would not like to jump out of an airplane. I guess you could say one of my worse fears would be flying in an airplane with engine trouble and being forced to jump to safety. I did however allow my children and husband to go up in this plane whatever was I thinking?
  2. Rock/mountain climbing - why? Why do people want to risk life and limb to scale a bunch of rocks? It takes lots of concentration, extraordinary upper body strength, stamina, and nerves of steel. I have none of those so it's a given that it's not an activity for me. I'm sure there's all kinds of exhilaration experienced once the top has been reached. And I can only imagine the wonderful sights that can be seen from up high. However, let's not forget that once one reaches the has to come down. Coming down isn't going to be much easier than going up....unless you take a plunge, and face it, how fun is that? And while we're at it, I don't even want to do this: 
  3. Ian climbing the wall at the Mall of Ga July,  2000
  4. Run in a race - anyone who knows me knows that I am not the most athletic person so this entry should not be any surprise. I'm not one to overly exert myself, and really don't get the attraction people have with running. Those runners, they're like meth addicts when it comes to their sport. I know people who get up at the crack of dawn, regardless of the weather, and take to the streets. I'm not an early riser. I hate hot weather and cold weather. I'm never going to run down a street unless I'm either running from someone trying to attack me or running from a burning building  and in either scenario I'd probably be too scared to move anyway. So it's been established, I have no desire to run period - but run in a race... where your're competing with other people? where people watch and applaud the front runners and snicker at the poor slob who comes in three hours after everyone else? where you have to go up mountains hills called Heartbreak Hill? where paramedics sit on the sidelines waiting for someone to drop? where, when it's all said and done all you get is a lousy t-shirt?            No thanks, count me out!
  5. Bungee jump - I don't know who decided it would be a good idea to take a giant rubber band and jump off high buildings and bridges but then again I AM one of the faint at heart. How can you be sure that bungee isn't going to just snap as you're going down, breaking every bone in your body? Or worse yet, it snaps as you're springing back up and suddenly you're being launched into orbit right up there with the space station. Once again, count me out.
  6. Para sail - I've heard people claim that it's the closest thing to flying like a bird. I'm sorry, but if God intended man to fly He would have given us all wings. That's all I'm sayin'. 
  7. Go caving - I have been to Carlsbad Caverns. It was a long time ago, back right after dinosaurs stopped chasing men into caves. It wasn't too bad. I remember there was a lot of walking involved and it was cold. I also remember rumors of bats (that part I'm trying to forget). I would do that trip again. However here I'm actually talking about the kind of caving my sons did this past summer.             Words escape me.             All I can say is no way, not this girl!
  8. Live in a high rise apartment - apartment living isn't necessarily bad but for many isn't the ideal living arrangement. You may have to deal with noisy neighbors and for the most part aren't allowed to paint and decorate like you want. But when the hot water heater bursts in the middle of the night, all it takes is a call to maintenance for a quick repair....right? However, I'm not talking about your normal suburban apartments with two or three floors. No, I'm talking about those giant high rises, forty-fifty-a hundred floors up. Really I don't have any idea how high they actually go, but I'm talking about the ones where you look out your window and can see pilots in airplanes or look down and realize those aren't ants crawling around but cars... that is when the big-city smog isn't so thick you can't see three feet past the window. So other than that, why you ask, would living up there in the clouds be so bad? People. Have you never seen Towering InfernoTell me, exactly how many people actually survived? And this.....what is it? A giant lightening rod? That is why I don't want to live in a high rise apartment!
  9. Be on or watch reality tv - it is simple. I have no desire to see people act like idiots. I have no desire to have people watch me act like an idiot. End of story. 
  10. Go down in a submarine - it's been thoroughly established that I am afraid of heights. Let it also be known that I also have a healthy fear of the ocean. The thought of being surrounded entirely by water with all kinds of man eating critters in it terrifies me. Being in a submarine would probably protect me from all those sea critters but with that protection comes the fact that, when in one, you are enclosed in a tin can. Have I mentioned that in addition to my height fear and my ocean fear, that I also suffer from claustrophobia? You know, being enclosed in small spaces. It's even worse if the small space is completely surrounded by water. So you can be rest assured that I won't be entering a tin can and traveling 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
  11. Live without technology - I love my phone. I love my computer. I love my tv. Yes, it's sad .... I  admit it. But the thought of being without....shudder....makes me want to cry. While we're at it, let's hang on to all those electrical appliances that make my life easier. And remember the saying "if mama ain't happy, nobody's happy. "
So that's list of ten things I have no desire to do. What's on your list?


  1. Well - the only one of your top 10 that isn't on my list is number 7. But only in good weather with no wind, so.... I do have a alternate number 7, though - teaching a teenage boy to drive about the time I draw my first social security check! Any takers?

  2. lol, sorry my days of teaching teenage boys to drive are over....the last one almost did me in!