Monday, January 31, 2011

Where's my camera when I need it?

I just got back from the grocery store and I'm kicking myself for not having the presence of mind to whip out my camera.

Sometimes I wonder how in the world people have the nerve to go out in public dressed the way they are. Maybe it's because they are perfectly comfortable with themselves and really don't give a flying flip what others think.

Perhaps they're oblivious to what they look like,

or, maybe they're out for attention. Well today, they certainly got that! Whatever their reason, they were out in droves today. And for the record  .... I was NOT at Walmart! That is a whole 'nuther story              

First there was the guy in the parking lot in flip-flops and white socks. Why? How can that be comfortable?

Then there was the teenager (why aren't you in school?) who looked like she just got out of bed, wearing pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt. I guess she thought the Uggs would dress it up a bit?

Around the corner was the mom with two toddlers and a screaming infant. The kids all looked ok, but momma - is it really necessary to wear leggings, 3-inch spiked heels, and a tight, plunge-to-the-navel sweater  to the grocery store? (And for the record, the 70s called and they want that hairstyle back.) Woman, what are you doing, shopping for groceries or another baby-daddy?

In front of the meat counter was the old man in shorts and an Hawaiian shirt - I guess it wouldn't be so bad except for it's January, it's raining and it's 48-degrees outside. And while all my Connecticut relatives would love that 48* here in Georgia it is pretty miserable, especially considering the highs we had over the weekend. Maybe Don Ho was thinking by dressing like this it might bring back that balmy weekend weather.

Two aisles over I was confronted with his elementary school-aged granddaughter.  She was the kid wearing a tank top, shorts, and high heels. Or it could be possible she belonged to the mom-on-the-prowl. Could have gone either way, I guess.

And then finally, roaming around in the frozen food section I spot the woman in jeans, tennis shoes, and a mink coat. Yes, she was wearing a dead animal. I guess someone forgot to tell her that to do so was definitely no longer politically correct. But judging by the look on her face I was not about to go "there" with her. Let someone else call PETA.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm no fashion diva. In fact my favorite go-to shoes are the ugly brown crocs with the fuzzy insoles. (Unless it's summer and then you'll find me in these) 

And believe me, I get it that sometimes kids insist on wearing the most outlandish outfits and there are times that it's just not one of those battles worth fighting. I only have to pull out our family albums to find perfect examples of this. Now who wouldn't want to take their kid out dressed like this?
   or this? 
or this?    or even this? . It's just so hard when they're so proud of themselves! And when they're that young, they are pretty darn cute.

However, let it be known, that if you insist on going out in public dressed for attention, you're going to get it. So don't glare and get all huffy when those around you do a double take when you walk by.

Or drive by - I would be remiss if I failed to mention the car in the parking lot .... the blue sedan with giant glow-in the-dark yellow polka dots covering it. I wonder if it comes in pink and green?


  1. i thought you went to the store Saturday - and back out again today! what did you forget? LOL... i'm glad you don't shop around where i live.... i don't look at myself before i go out the door.... one reason is i don't want to appear as a good candidate for a mugging or purse snatching... of course since i don't carry a purse, that would be pretty hard.. louise

  2. You make my day. You make laugh till I cry. Then of course I'm too wide awake to fall asleep. You always had so mu talent, but, your writing is the the best. You need to submit these to the Atlanta Journal. Very entertaining. I can't wait each day to read the next one.